


Picket white fences that we painted black

by ChaNssi



Category: VIXX
Genre: Apartment hunting, M/M, hakyeon is tired, he calls them spawns of the devil, i honestly don't know what this is, taekwoon is afraid of insects, there's a broomstick somewhere, twitter au thing, yep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 09:17:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19664395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaNssi/pseuds/ChaNssi
Summary: The ad is simple. And it’s taken off some website Hakyeon has no idea even existed until he’s caught sight of it at the top of the picture, a www.askforaroomie.com, and if that’s not shady enough, the advertisement with its magenta lettering on a pale pastel pink background certainly is."As long as you can deal with insects, you qualify as my housemate."





	Picket white fences that we painted black

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! 
> 
> This is something I based off of an twitter au by the lovely Basant (smilehoyaa) and idk where exactly the thread is at, but I'll link it when I figure it out :P
> 
> I'm not entirely sure what the hell it ended up as, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless!

It’s hot.

He feels like he’s melting and he suddenly relates to an ice-cream on a spiritual level.

He can literally feel the sun drain his energy through a figurative straw placed on his head, sucking in the very essence of his life, as he drags his half-dead body through the streets with his now hot half-finished Styrofoam cup of heavily iced lemon tea sloshing dangerously close to the brim when he almost runs over a stray dog’s tail.

Apartment hunting, Hakyeon decides, is a bitch. It’s worse than having to file income tax returns because let’s be honest for a while, they never taught the more important things in school. Who the fuck uses trigonometry and calculus in real life unless of course, someone was working for NASA or something. Hakyeon certainly didn’t need to talk in riddles when he taught his students literature. Back to the topic on hand, apartment hunting sucks ass. Period.

He’s looked through at least twenty of those tiny advertisements that shoot up in inconspicuous corners in the newspapers – yes, Hakyeon reads the physical copies of newspapers. He doesn’t like reading news on his tablet or his phone or whatever. The real feel of the newspaper is what completes the experience – and he hasn’t yet found a match.

It’s his third stop of the day and he’s wondering if he should just suck it up and try to make ends meet with the bare minimum while continuing to pay for the double bedroom house that his best friend is to move out of. He decides he hates Hongbin just as much for putting him through the ordeal. He knows he’s being unreasonable, but who in the world asked for Hongbin to fall in love enough to want to move in with his boyfriend? It was just as much Wonshik’s fault too, really. But, he blames the brunt of it on Hongbin. What happened to bros before hoes? Hush, he’s not calling Wonshik a hoe. Although, with his dressing style, or the lack thereof, he could technically qualify as one.

He sighs. He’s still looking for the new place. The ad claimed the house was pretty close to the subway station, but he’s been walking for well over fifteen minutes and he’s yet to spot the ”pretty yellow building with flowers adorning the balcony”.

Finding a garden bench in a corner of the sidewalk, he plops down to rest for a while before trying to find the place again. He takes a sip of his almost forgotten iced tea and immediately makes a face. It’s disgustingly warm and he wants to spit it out almost on a reflex, but his model citizen etiquette kicks in and he swallows the liquid, forcing his epiglottis to work. He pulls the cap lower on his face and tries to squint up and down the street, hoping to catch sight of the apartment he’s been looking for. No luck.

He watches as a few school kids get off at the bus station and head home, wondering if he’s wasting his paid leave on an unproductive day when he feels his butt vibrate. He pulls his cell phone out and scowls at the photograph flashing across his screen.

“What.” He hopes his scowl can be heard through his voice.

Hongbin laughs. “Hey. I’m guessing you haven’t had any luck yet?”

“Shut up. I don’t want to hear your annoying voice right now,” Hakyeon grumbles into the phone, frowning at Hongbin because he can’t see what’s so funny about his situation.

“Wonshik, he doesn’t need the place, I guess,” Hongbin’s voice sounds far off as if he’s speaking with his mouth away from the receiver and Hakyeon’s not one to deny his curiosity.

“Wait, what place?” Hakyeon finds himself asking and he can almost feel the sunshine radiate off of Hongbin’s satisfied smile and he wants to kick himself.

“Well, if you’re interested, we just saw an ad and it seems kinda interesting. You might wanna check it out. It seems like an interesting person,” Hongbin tells him.

Hakyeon isn’t sure he wants to live with an “interesting” person, but he’s not having any luck with the yellow building, so he might as well try and see what Hongbin has found. He doesn’t entirely trust Hongbin with important decisions, either, but that’s only for him to know. “Alright, send me the ad,” He sighs into the phone.

“Right away. Wonshik, snap a pic and send it to him,”

Hakyeon’s phone vibrates before he’s even disconnected the call with Hongbin. He opens the pop-up indicating the arrival of a message from Wonshik and as he reads through, he really isn’t sure what his friends were thinking of when telling him to hit that person up.

The ad is simple. And it’s taken off some website Hakyeon has no idea even existed until he’s caught sight of it at the top of the picture, a [www.askforaroomie.com](http://www.askforaroomie.com), and if that’s not shady enough, the advertisement with its magenta lettering on a pale pastel pink background certainly is.

_As long as you can deal with insects, you qualify as my housemate._

That’s all it says. And then there’s a weird little picture attachment with what he assumes is supposed to be a drawing of a cat? Or is that a devil with horns. He isn’t sure. He kinda wants to know if it’s an ad from a three-year-old, but he feels he might be undermining a three-year-old’s capabilities with that comparison. He’s just not sure what he’s supposed to do with this advertisement. His eyes fly to the address and attached telephone number and his fingers itch to call the person to see if it’ll be an infant who’ll pick his call up, but he decides he’s being stupid. He’s just watched Boss Baby one too many times.

Instead, he calls Wonshik. “Have you gone mad?” He whisper yells as a greeting, keeping in mind he’s in public.

He can hear Wonshik and Hongbin laugh. He swears he can even hear something break in the background while he not so patiently waits for his idiot friends to calm down.

“Oh my God, I wish I was there to see your face! It would’ve been priceless,” Wonshik wheezes into the phone and Hakyeon has the severe urge to punch him in the face.

“If you value your life, you’ll tell me what the hell you were thinking when looking up some fucking website like this,” Hakyeon threatens as Wonshik dissolves into more laughter. “You are brave, Kim Wonshik. Testing my patience might not end up well for you tonight,”

Wonshik catches his breath. “Okay calm down. It’s just a joke,”

“Calm down? Calm the fuck down? Do you really think I can calm down, Wonshik? I’ve been dragging my ass from one place to another with no response from the one place I actually liked and it’s been _weeks_ and I still can’t seem to find the right place and I’m exhausted trying to juggle school work and finding a place to live in before the contract expires and I’m kicked out of my place and you want me to calm down?”

“Woah. Okay, I’m sorry. We were just trying to get you to release some tension,” It’s Hongbin who speaks this time. He must be on speaker.

“I’m not in the mood to release tension. I just want to get back with a positive answer for myself,” Hakyeon seethes.

“Alright. We’re sorry. Clearly, you’re not in the mood,” Hongbin speaks calmly. “Get back to your hunting then. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find one soon,”

“Yeah,” Hakyeon agrees as he pinches the skin of his nose bridge. He knows it isn’t Hongbin’s or Wonshik’s fault, but he’s tired of the effort he’s been putting in with no result. “I’m sorry for freaking out,”

“Nah, that’s okay. As long as you’re calm, we’re cool,” Wonshik says.

”Yeah, I guess,” Hakyeon sighs and hangs up.

His eyes fall back on the picture that’s still opened up on his phone and he looks at the address once again, finding that it’s pretty close to where he’s sat at. He humours himself for a while, what if the person was actually not so bad? The area he’s in is pretty close to his workplace and the neighbourhood doesn’t give him negative vibes. There’s a park nearby and convenience stores and all other basic necessities to live comfortably.

He gets up from the bench, discarding his cup of not-so-iced tea and starts to walk, looking for the place. He finds it easily, and he’s surprised to find that he’s crossed the building twice in his search for the yellow one, and he’s not entirely sure what he was imagining, but a picket fenced duplex house with a small but well-maintained garden complete with a birdhouse is certainly not the picture magenta lettering on a pink background painted for him. Or maybe, that’s exactly it.

Hakyeon finds the bell to be on the inside of the gate and he steps inside cautiously, his hands clinging to his bag tightly. He walks up the three steps before reaching the large door and he rings the bell. He waits for a while, wondering if he should have called before showing up unannounced. He rings the bell again and stands awkwardly for a few minutes before deciding he probably shouldn’t have even come here and turns around to leave.

“Wait!” He hears a panicked voice call from inside and he turns back around, looking for the source of the voice.

“Are you asking me to wait?” He calls out, his voice a little loud.

“Can you come in?” Hakyeon hears and he peeks through the window next to the door, trying to look for the person talking to him.

Hakyeon steps back. He has a funny gut feeling, half of it screaming at him to get away from the place because who knows what sort of a serial killer is trying to lure him in, while the other half is trying to convince him it’s a good idea to step into the house of the stranger with a soothing voice.

“Please, I need your help,” The voice calls once again, as if sensing Hakyeon’s hesitation and Hakyeon knows that’s his cue to run and never think of this little detour, but he’s suddenly walking forward and the knob is turning and he’s stepping inside the house and he knows he shouldn’t but he’s on the inside and he can hear the door close shut behind him in slow motion and he knows he’s oh so fucked.

Well, so much for self-preservation.

“Oh good, you’re in. Can you please get into the kitchen?” The voice sounds strangely relieved.

Hakyeon gulps. He feels like he’s walking right into his grave and digging it along the way. “I don’t know where the kitchen is?” His voice sounds so uncertain and low, he’s not sure the person can hear him.

“Just walk straight in and take a left. The door on your right and you’ll find me there,”

Oh, well. He’s already gone in this far. Maybe death will relieve him of his worst nightmare. Shrugging to himself, he follows the directions of the man and finds himself in front of the door he claimed to be the kitchen. Momentarily, a thought crosses his mind where he has to calm his heart and tell himself that he’s not walking into a torture chamber.

“I’m coming in,” He says to the door and he opens the door.

It’s the kitchen alright.

The first thing Hakyeon notices is that the man is tall. And he’s holding a broomstick in his hand, thrust in front of his chest like it’s a piece of armour, and he’s standing on the kitchen counter, not letting his eyes stray from a cupboard which is at least six feet from where he’s stood.

Hakyeon is taken aback.

“Uh, hi?” Hakyeon says, standing awkwardly.

“Can you get that spider?” The man asks, his eyes still not straying.

Hakyeon follows his line of sight and is surprised when his eyes land on the smallest spider he’s ever seen in his life and he almost laughs until he catches sight of the man’s face that looks severely constipated. “Sure,” he replies and opens his bag, and gets a paper out of it. Placing the paper near to the spider, he lets it crawl onto it before opening the back door and letting it out. “Bye bye, little arachnid,” he waves.

The man climbs down the countertop and sets the broomstick aside. “Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I want to kiss the shit out of you right now,”

Hakyeon immediately takes a step back, holding his hands in front of his chest with palms facing forward. “Uh, I just met you and I don’t even know your name?” He trails off. Such a strange man.

The man laughs. “Of course. I’m Jung Taekwoon and you’re here to stay, right? I’m glad you can deal with those devil incarnates. There aren’t too many but sometimes they just get into the house from God knows where and I just can’t deal with them,”

Hakyeon’s mind is reeling with everything the man, Taekwoon is saying and he’s just lost. “Wait, what do you mean I’m here to stay? Are you, like, kidnapping me or something?”

Taekwoon looks at him funny before laughing once again. “Oh, you’re funny too. Great, I’m sure we’ll have fun,” He walks out to the living room and settles into the couch. “So, you can move in whenever you’re free. I can help,”

Hakyeon notices for the first time how well kept the place is. And the décor, as well, it's tasteful, he can hardly find faults with it. He tries to make himself as small as possible as he sits on a sofa chair. He snaps his attention back to the strange man. “You want me to move in?” He asks incredulously.

Taekwoon tilts his head. “Isn’t that what you came here for? Didn’t you read the ad?”

“I did,” Hakyeon nods.

“Then you’re perfect. You can live here. My office and the living room and the kitchen along with a small guest bedroom are right here. The two bedrooms with attached bathrooms and a small gym plus two other rooms that I’ve just left as are on the floor above. I can give you a house tour right now if you’d like,”

“Hold up. How can you simply decide you want to live with me? You don’t even know me,” Hakyeon tries to reason. “What if I’m some sort of a serial killer?”

“Well, if you were one, you’d have already killed me,” Taekwoon says confidently with a smug smile.

“What if I’m just keeping my tendencies hidden?” Hakyeon raises an eyebrow. Wait, why the heck is he arguing?

“Well, when I asked to help take the spider out, you’d have killed it instead of letting it go safely. So I believe you’re not one,” Taekwoon crosses his arms across his chest, his smug smile only somehow becoming even smugger.

“But I don’t know who you are,” Hakyeon isn’t sure what makes Taekwoon so confident.

“Right. I’m 28 years old and I work as a mafia doctor,” Taekwoon replies.

“What?” Hakyeon has the urge to just run the hell away but the only exit he knows is right behind Taekwoon and he doesn’t think he can manage to escape.

Taekwoon laughs out loud. “Oh my God, you should see your expression. It’s hilarious!” He wheezes. “I’m kidding. I work with kids, particularly mentally challenged ones. I run an orphanage along with a friend. You can check it out online. It’s called “Little Hearts, Home for precious lives”. I swear I’m not lying. I also make music when I have the time,”

Hakyeon gives him a scathing look. He gets his phone out and types out the name provided, and he’s surprised to find it’s the truth. He looks back up to find Taekwoon giving him a small smile. “What proof do I have that this isn’t just some surface cover you’ve got?” He narrows his eyes.

“Oh, that’s a fair point. I guess you’ll have to find out for yourself then,” Taekwoon has a glint in his eyes. “Alright then, when are you moving in?”

“Dude, you’re moving too fast. You didn’t even ask for my name yet,”

“So, tell me,”

Hakyeon sighs. He really shouldn’t have come here. “I’m Hakyeon. I’m not giving you my full name. I’m not dumb enough to trust you with my life yet. And I work as a literature teacher. Also, you’re supposed to tell me how much you’re quoting so I can decide if I can afford it or not,”

“Ah, you don’t have to pay,” Taekwoon waves a hand dismissively.

“What the hell do you mean? I may not look like much but I have enough money to pay for half this place,” Hakyeon is beyond offended.

“No, that’s not it. This place, I own it. I just really only need a person to help me with insects. I don’t need you to rent it out,” Taekwoon explains.

Hakyeon narrows his eyes at him. How can a man his age already own a place this big unless he really was working for some mafia undercover? “What you’re looking for is a housekeeper, not a housemate,”

Taekwoon sighs. “A housekeeper will not always be here,”

Hakyeon appraises the strange man for a few seconds, “I still do not trust you. How much are you quoting?”

“How about $50?”

“A day?”

Taekwoon mouth hangs open. “What? No, for a month,”

“Are you kidding me?” Hakyeon shoots up from his seated position. “What do you take me for? I am not going to be a freeloader,”

“Alright then, you tell me how much you want to pay,” Taekwoon sighs again.

“1000 per month,” Hakyeon gives him a look that screams at him to try to retaliate.

“Whatever will I do with that much money?” Taekwoon sighs dramatically.

“Use it for the betterment of your orphanage,” Hakyeon shoots.

“I get enough funds,”

“Well, that’s your problem. Okay, I need to go. I’ll get back to you,” Hakyeon stands up once again.

Taekwoon stands as well. “Oh no,” he shakes his head. “I’ll get back to you has a very negative connotation in my dictionary,”

Hakyeon gives him a tight smile. “You’ll just have to wait and see, I guess,” He manoeuvres around Taekwoon and speed walks to the door before turning it open and stepping into the safety of the public. “Thanks! Hope you have a good day!” He calls and catches the first taxi he finds on the streets, trying his hardest to not look at Taekwoon’s pouting face.

@_@


End file.
